If you've been struggling with anxiety, depression, fears, obsession, panic, or any relationship, marriage or family issues, or just want less stress and more happiness, this show will empower you to honor yourself and make decisions that are right for you. Mindfulness, compassion and being in the present moment are only components of a bigger picture. Honoring yourself and living authentically, along with strengthening your emotional intelligence are a few of the keys to an empowered life. If you're annoyed with affirmations and tired of being told to "think positively!", this is the show that leaves out the fluff and gives you practical, down to earth steps to help you create the life you want.
Comparing yourself to other people is the fastest way to low self-worth and self-esteem. And why do we always compare ourselves to people that are better looking, wealthier, healthier and have more success in areas of life that we are still working on? It seems like a black hole of misery that will never end. In segment one, I talk about one of my good friends who is self-employed and wondering why she isn't succeeding after a few months of what I see has been a very successful time for her. She is comparing her success to those that have been in the business for a long time and it is making her feel down. This segment is for you if you are feeling inferior or less-than someone you know and you're not sure how to get out of that rut. In segment two, I address the concerns of a woman who's boyfriend has a controlling mother that doesn't like her. On top of that, her boyfriend will never let anyone get in between his mother and him. There may be some unhealthy attachment going on here. If his girlfriend comes second to his mom, she may always be second best in his life. Should she stay and hope he changes his mind or get out of the situation before his mom takes over their relationship? In segment three, I talk about my analysis of conversations that a woman recorded with her narcissistic mom. I listened to the conversations carefully and picked apart exactly where healthy behavior stopped and where possible narcissistic behavior started. The source of the recordings themselves can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/user/Zastrow69/videos Who knows? You may be able to spot some narcissistic behavior in someone you know! Or… maybe even in you. During the close of the show, I talk about how your response to a dysfunctional or toxic person can actually create more dysfunction. Even if you honor yourself authentically and say what you mean, their behavior can still be incited and amplified just by you being you. It's time to stop feeding the dysfunctional feedback machine and start to do new behavior that doesn't incite their old behavior. Today's episode is brought to you by getoutofthemess.com. Legal insurance when you need it.
How do you handle negative feedback? There's a golden opportunity to sink or swim when someone puts you down. Their comments don't have to equal pain and a hit on your self-worth or self-esteem. In fact, maybe it's possible that the one person you remember putting you down is the very impetus you needed to improve something about yourself. It's not fun getting criticized, but it's not always a bad thing either. In segment two, I talk about worrying and overwhelm about everything. Just how much do you worry? Do you feel like you can never get ahead because all the plates are spinning and you really can't find a way to stop them? You might even be getting more plates added to your act. It can be stressful and even downright terrifying… it's time to get out of the overwhelm. In segment three, I talk about the important subject of enabling. Enabling is helping a toxic person stay toxic by behaving in a way that removes their accountability. If they never feel accountable, they continue to stay toxic to themselves and you. Enabling is helping them be helpless and it's time to learn just how bad enabling is for you and your family. During the closing, I bring up the very important subject of just how long is too long to hold on to guilt. You may feel guilty for something that you did long ago but you don't have to hold on to it. In fact, maybe this episode is the release you need from so many months or years of guilt so that you can move on and start living your life again. Today's sponsor is getoutofthemess.com. Connect with quality attorneys at your beck and call at a crazy affordable rate.
When someone expresses themselves to you, do you cringe at the thought of you doing the same? Does the idea of sharing what they're sharing make you feel uncomfortable? Does it stop you from living life the way you want with authenticity and confidence? If you feel uncomfortable or shy when someone shares something vulnerable with you, that may be a sign that something could use some healing in you, if you want to explore it. It's a great way to tell just what you need to work on in yourself. Full expression can make you feel lighter and stronger at the same time, but it isn't always easy to show up that authentically. In the second segment, I read a letter from someone I call Larry. He said he can't get his girlfriend's two-night stand out of his head. It's a relationship that began and end way before they met but he still has an issue with it. There are some factors involved in thinking about your ex's past and getting jealous or angry or feeling other negative emotions. Those factors are images and thoughts that repeat themselves by staring into the rear view mirror. Where should your focus be? How can you even focus on the present moment when you can't get yourself out of a past that isn't even your own? Finally, during the closing segment, I teach some techniques on building rapport and share how building rapport isn't just something to learn and try out with others, it's also something you can watch people do to you. After all, it's better to be prepared so you can tell when someone is using the very same techniques on you (it doesn't mean they know they're doing it, but it's good to know how it can be done!) Today's episode is brought to you by getoutofthemess.com. Real attorneys answering your questions for a very low monthly rate.
How do you go about rekindling with toxic and / or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth "going home" and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again? Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of family past? There is a way to return to a toxic environment but it's going to take some courage to be the person you want to be with the people that have always treated you the way you don't want to be treated. I talk about that in segment one. In segment two, I read a message from someone who shares what it's like honoring yourself. Joshua shares that he's been taking steps to stand up for himself and express his truths to people that he never has before. He is showing up as that authentic person he's always wanted to be and things are happening for him in a way that never have before. I also share what happens when you choose not to express yourself and instead repress what's going on in you instead. I'll give you a hint… it's depression. In segment three I talk about what your responsibility in the relationship is. Even when you're the victim of any type of abuse, as awful as that is, you are still a component in the equation of that environment and therefore have some level of responsibility. It may seem like you have no choice but often the choices you do have you simply won't consider because you fear the consequences of making that choice. The victim in an abusive or painful relationship still plays a role so when he or she takes responsibility, there's a better chance of both of you healing. It's not a "It's all your fault" system, it becomes a "I'll take responsibility and you'll take responsibility, then we can work on this together." That's a nice fantasy and sometimes that happens, but when it goes, it can actually help a relationship. Of course, if there's abuse, it may be time to just get out while there's a chance. During the closing of the show, I read a message from someone asking me if it's too soon to contact his ex. It's been a couple weeks and he just wants to call and apologize and tell her he misses their friendship. There is a way to gauge whether it's too soon or not, and it has to do with your level of attachment to the reuniting. The strong that attachment it, the likelihood that it's too soon to contact. I go over it in lots of detail in the show. Today's episode is brought to you by the gift of someone's life: StoryWorth! Visit storyworth.com/brain and use the code "brain" to get $20 off
How can you possibly forget an ex that "wasted" years of your life? How can you possibly forgive them either? In this first segment, I read a letter from someone who married a big problem, and now she is upset at him for "stealing" so many years of her life. She wants to forgive and move on but can't seem to do it. I offer a suggestion that she may not have considered on forgiveness. In segment two, what can you do if you want your ex back but they keep you at arm's length. They want to be with you, but they don't want to BE with you. It's a place of no closure and it can be full of anxiety and lots and lots of waiting with no possible end. Don't waste your life waiting - listen to this segment! During the close of the show, the subject of inner peace comes up. What's it like? Is it in you? Many people think it isn't. There's a stream of negative thoughts and emotions that can flow through you and it can seem like there's no peace, joy or happiness whatsoever. You can feel like life is not going to get any better so why bother? There is a path to peace but it involves some work. The work never ends, but the peace and comfort can appear sooner than later. Visit storyworth.com/brain for $20 off the gift of their life!
Your sense of self and identity can dissolve or even be rewritten over years of trau Your sense of self and identity can dissolve or even be rewritten over years of trauma, abuse, and / or dysfunction. Dis-integration can happen after a lifetime of challenges that you haven't healed from, causing you to feel scattered and feel like you have no purpose. When you don't have a strong emotional foundation, the hard times are harder and you feel beat up and burnt out almost all the time. It's important to establish who you are. You do this by honoring yourself, honoring your boundaries and showing up as authentically you. But how do you do that? That's what segment one is about. It's time to create, or recreate who you are. In segment two, I read a letter from "Mary" who is feeling guilt for leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She knows leaving is the right step, but she wants to know how she can overcome the guilt that comes with it. An emotional abuser exploits your kindness, compassion and generosity. They know how to use who you are against you. What personal boundaries are being taken away from you when someone is trying to guilt you? What values do they know about you that they are exploiting? There's a reason you feel guilty: It's because they know how to make you feel bad for not being you. It's a complex path that they have mastered, so it's time to reveal that path so that you know just how to stop it from happening. Guilt comes from kindness and compassion - this segment will tell you how to utilize your own compassion to eradicate the guilt of leaving the abusive relationship. There's a huge opportunity for both partners to heal. During the closing segment, I'll share with you a neat brain trick that will take a memory that upsets you and transform it into laughter. Do you have an emotional trigger you've been wanting to diminish or dissolve? Take the ride with me… should be fun! Today's episode was brought to you by getoutofthemess.com. Quality attorneys at established law firms for about $20 a month.
What happens when you reach that age where you thought you would have accomplished certain things in life but are nowhere close to what you set out to do 10, 20, 30 or more years ago? Do you get depressed? Do you have a mid-life crisis? Or… maybe you see that there's a bigger plan in the works for your life. If that's too spiritual a view for you, perhaps it's time to comes to terms with your fears and accept realities you don't want to accept. It sounds dismal and defeating thinking this way, but what if it's the path to the life you've always wanted? What if acceptance of what is awful is what gets you out of the rut? Lots to talk about in this first segment. In segment two, I read a letter from someone who wants to know how to walk the fine line between spouse and consoler. If you find yourself being a caretaker and therapist, along with loving partner, you may not know where to draw the line and at what point taking care of others is actually take care away from you. There's a fine line and I attempt to address just how to create balance in a relationship like this, especially if one partner has had trauma or abuse in their past. During the close of the show, I talk about how when you've gone through a breakup and you are still grasping at straws and hoping your partner will return, there's an acceptance that needs to happen within you so that if they do come back, you aren't bringing the old you back into the relationship. Acceptance of what is heals and helps you get ready for your next relationship, whether it is with your ex or not. Today's episode was brought to you by getoutofthemess.com. Quality attorneys at established law firms for about $20 a month.
When does sex really start? When you're taking off your clothes? The heated kissing or "petting" or… is there a lot more to it? If you are emotionally connected, you already know when sex starts - way before you ever step into the bedroom. If you are somewhat detached from your emotions however, sex is probably, mainly a physical thing for you. Regardless of where you are on the spectrum of sexual intelligence, this segment is all about how to build it right so that it is as enjoyable as it can be. The buildup, the trust, the vulnerability, the attentiveness, the receptiveness, and a whole lot more can make or break sex. If you want a healthy sex life, make everything else but sex as healthy and happy as possible. Where's your focus during sex? Segment one is dedicated to sex (it's clean, but still an adult subject matter, be advised!). In segment two, a woman writes to me and asks how to achieve closure and feel better after her boyfriend dumped her. He promised he would treat her right and stay with her but he didn't. What do you do when someone doesn't keep their commitment? Does a commitment last forever? And when it doesn't, how do you get to closure so you can move on with your life? Love doesn't override everything During the close of the show, I talk about an old episode where I invited Jordan Harbinger of The Art of Charm podcast on, and how my error and unintentional disrespect toward him created a friendship that lasts to this day. It's all about authenticity and how you show up in the world, even when you make a big fool of yourself at a critical moment in time and life. Today's episode is brought to you by getoutofthemess.com. Real attorneys ready to help you for only about $20 a month.
Do you make decisions based on what's in alignment with the highest intention for yourself, or do you make them based on fear. One path almost always leads to turmoil, and the other leads to getting what you want out of life almost every time. In segment two, what do you do when you start to have feelings for a good friend? And what if they don't have feelings back? Can you keep this kind of friendship or are you doomed for disappointment? I read a letter from someone going through this right now. It can be a huge challenge to have an authentic friendship when there's an underlying desire. During the closing of the show, I share a little behind the scenes of how I succeed at The Overwhelmed Brain and still give away everything I know for free. Today's episode is brought to you by getoutofthemess.com. Access to quality attorneys anytime you need them for a monthly fee, not an hourly one!
What resentments or regrets are you holding on to? Sometimes years can go by while you keep a firm grasp of what causes you stress simply because you can't let go of the idea that you could have made different choices in life. Or, could you have made different choices or taken a different direction in your life? If so, why not? In segment two, I talk about a healthy way to communicate with others - one that fosters positive relationships and productive communication. There's a big picture to keep in mind if you want to get along with almost everyone and it has to do with letting something important go: Your attachment to being right! In segment three, I read a message from someone who is as low as it seems one can go. Depression, anxiety, stress, and years of family dysfunction. And the only thing she has to hold on to is a relationship that is perfect but she believes is doomed to fail if she can't figure herself out and get well. She's so focused on what she has to lose that she might actually create what she fears. She is in the breakdown stage when nothing seems to be going right. The good news? There's nothing below breakdown so maybe it's time for a breakthrough. I talk about the steps that can get you to a better place once you are in the bottom of the barrel and you feel like it can't possibly get any worse. Today's episode is brought to you by Casper. Get $50 off an amazing mattress at casper.com/brain. Make sure to use the promo code "brain" when checking out to get the discount. nt.
