Women Taking the Lead with Jodi Flynn

I feel like I’m inviting you into my living room because this is going to be an intimate conversation. Buckle up because this is another one of those “What I’m Afraid to Tell You” episodes like the one I did 6 months ago.

This episode was brought on by two conversations I had within a 2-week period. The first conversation was a coaching call with one of my clients. She has given me permission to share our conversation with you and I am very grateful to her. We have been working together for 2 ½ months so we’ve gotten very comfortable with one another. In fact when we’ve talked about personality tests like Myers Briggs and DiSC our profiles are a near match. She joked that if we lived near each other we’d either be hanging out all the time or avoiding each other because we would be a mirror to the other and there might be times we don’t like what we see. I completely agreed.

We were chatting a couple weeks ago and she mentioned that she wasn’t sure of me when she first started listening to the podcast. She enjoyed the interviews and got a sense that we had a similar take on things but the Marianne Williamson quote at the end of my episodes has a strong reference to God and that did not resonate with her. Also, being from the UK and living in Australia she also sees how evangelical U.S. citizens can be. I chuckled and thought this impression was very fair considering what gets blasted in the new and on facebook whenever there is a presidential election. She had a valid concern considering she didn’t know me very well.

However, it was when she heard my episode on Higher Consciousness vs. Traditional Theology that she realized that I was a spiritual person but not practicing any religion. It was then everything clicked and within a few weeks she reached out to me and we scheduled a Skype call.

I was very appreciative that she shared this with me and grateful that an unintended consequence of that episode, also inspired by a conversation with another client, allowed her to feel comfortable reaching out to me.

Okay, so that conversation happened and about a week later I was having a one to one networking meeting with a member from another BNI chapter. I had recently seen a book list he put together for his employees and it included some of my favorite books like Start with Why, The Four Agreements and The Alchemist – books that from my perspective are spiritual but not religious;  along with another book that had the word “spiritual” right in the title.

Of course I had to ask him if he considered himself a spiritual person. This opened up the gates to a conversation I did not see coming. During our conversation I told him what my client recently shared with me about the perception she had of me. He asked me some great questions and picked up on the fact that this is an area I censor myself, not just on this podcast, but in my entire life.

There is such a stigma around spirituality, and exploring concepts like faith, divinity, intuition and higher callings. It’s not to say that I feel a need to talk about these things all the time but even when it’s relevant I often find myself saying very little on the subject even though the truth of the matter is I believe these things are woven into everything. From my perspective there is no conversation where these topics are not relevant. It’s like trying to pretend water is unnecessary.

In the course of a conversation I would have no problem saying, “Do you mind if we pause while I go fill up my glass of water?” but the thought of saying, “Do you mind if we pause while I check in with my intuition?”, makes me feel squeamish. I could count on one hand the number of people I would feel comfortable saying that to and I only feel comfortable because they did it first, thus giving me permission to do the same.

And this is probably something many of you have grappled with. Being Type A and likely left-brained, logical thinkers we like our facts, our case studies and what has been scientifically proven. It can be difficult for us to embrace faith because that would mean letting go of control and allowing things to unfold. We don’t like being told what to think and believe, or having anyone assign our role or cap our potential, so the dogma of religious institutions can chafe against who we are at our core.

And for most of us we have collapsed spirituality and religion into the same concept but they are distinct. Spirit is your non-physical form and your connection to something greater than yourself as an individual. Your spirituality is how you choose to explore and express that connection. Religion is a system of practicing faith and worship. Religion is structured and has agreed upon principles.

I want to be clear that I am all for a religious practice if it aligns with you and allows you to grow in your spirituality. Joining a religious community can provide support, guidance and company in your spiritual journey. I was raised Catholic and although I am not a practicing Catholic there are many things that I treasure about the Catholic faith. I can’t remember what age I was but I would guess it was somewhere between 4th and 6th grade I had a catechism teacher whom I felt comfortable with. Because of my level of comfort I would pepper her with questions. Being logical we can instantly see when things don’t add up, when they don’t make sense and if there is inconsistent information we have a hard time trusting the source.

For instance, in the Catholic faith you are only to receive communion if you are in a state of grace, meaning your sins have been absolved. And you can only receive absolution by confessing to a priest and doing your penance. So for example, if you skipped mass the week prior and haven’t made it to confession it’s a no-no to receive communion. However, during the mass right before receiving the Eucharist the entire congregation repeats the words, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.” Having said that, and believing in a forgiving God, you are still not to receive communion unless you have confessed to a priest.

Still, often when I am back in Worcester visiting family I will attend mass with them for several reasons. I like the people of their parish. They are warm and friendly and comical. It also makes my parents happy to see me attending mass. They do not push nor do they hide their hope that all their children will become practicing Catholics once again. They are very respectful of my choices and so I feel a freedom to attend mass. Lastly, I sometimes become very moved during the mass. When you get past the quirkiness of the Catholic mass, and some of the dogma that doesn’t resonate, you can see that it is designed to create an environment in which you can have a spiritual experience. Sometimes I feel so connected to that something greater my eyes start to water.

If you cut yourself off from the notion that there is something greater than our mortal coil you will limit what is possible for you in regard to your own development and your human experience.

I remember watching a PBS broadcast of a talk Wayne Dyer gave and he made the statement, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."

That stirred something in me and I realized I already believed that but I had never heard it articulated in that way.

That is at the core of my beliefs but it has been a journey to get here. My faith has been tested many times and I went through a time when it was shattered.

As I share this story I don’t want you to get hung up on the word God. If God resonates with you, great; if not know that in the telling of this story I could interchangeable use the words source, higher power, universe, etc. Change out God for the word that is true to you.

Thank You to Our Sponsors

Freshbooks: The all new FreshBooks makes ridiculously easy accounting software that’s completely transformed how freelancers and small business owners deal with their day-to-day paperwork. Get a 30 day, unrestricted free trial go to FreshBooks.com/lead and enter WOMEN TAKING THE LEAD in the “How Did You Hear About Us?” section.

altMBA: Seth Godin’s altMBA workshop is an intensive leadership and management workshop designed for changemakers who have a fire in the belly. This is for people who are itching to level up and make a bigger impact. Find out more at:  altmba.com/womentakingthelead

Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!

Resources

Private Facebook Community: Chat, share and collaborate with other women in the community!

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

The Accomplished Community: A community of entrepreneurial Type A women uniting to achieve their biggest goals with confidence, integrity and a sense of humor.

Subscribe to Women Taking the Lead

If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play Music or iHeart Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community!

Naomi is a mother of a child on the autism spectrum and a specialist coach for families like hers. She manages an amazing movement Autism Living Life On The Spectrum which consists of over 9,000 people touched by Autism and/or Special Needs, with a focus in helping families create a life where they can turn the obstacles they are presented with into opportunities.

Click to tweet: Naomi Amat is sharing her story to inspire you on Women Taking the Lead https://womentakingthelead.com/223 #inspiration

Playing Small Moment

Ten years ago, Naomi and her family were away for her a wedding, and her son had an accident and fell out of a window. During the healing process for her son, she realized that everything they had done had been centered around her son for so long. Changes in focus needed to take place so Naomi could put some energy into herself and what she wanted to do in life.

The Wake Up Call

Naomi and her family were struggling with her son. She made some great progress working with him and family dynamics started to move forward, but she felt unfulfilled. Naomi was a busy mom who realized all that she had gained from other people and their journeys. With that inspiration, Naomi started a Facebook group that featured her learnings, and it took off from there.

Style of Leadership

Naomi looks at the emotional, physical, and mental impact as well as family dynamic, to figure out how to move forward from situations that may seem negative and turn them into a positive.

What Are You Excited About?

Naomi is working on creating Autism acceptance on a global level.

Current Business Challenge

Naomi finds that most people have a preconceived idea of autism and she is working on changing that perception while educating at all levels.

Leadership Practice

Naomi believes in always reflecting on what is happening around her. Sharing her stories and coming out the other side has been empowering.

Advice For Younger Self

Embrace change ourselves to be able to see that change is a possibility for others.

Inspirational Quote

“By nurturing you, you can better nurture your family too.”

Links

https://livinglifeonthespectrum.com/

Thank You to Our Sponsors

Freshbooks: The all new FreshBooks makes ridiculously easy accounting software that’s completely transformed how freelancers and small business owners deal with their day-to-day paperwork. Get a 30 day, unrestricted free trial go to FreshBooks.com/lead and enter WOMEN TAKING THE LEAD in the “How Did You Hear About Us?” section.

altMBA: Seth Godin’s altMBA workshop is an intensive leadership and management workshop designed for changemakers who have a fire in the belly. This is for people who are itching to level up and make a bigger impact. Find out more at:  altmba.com/womentakingthelead

Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!

Resources

Private Facebook Community: Chat, share and collaborate with other women in the community!

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

The Accomplished Community: A community of entrepreneurial Type A women uniting to achieve their biggest goals with confidence, integrity and a sense of humor.

Subscribe to Women Taking the Lead

If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play Music or iHeart Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community!

I’ve been resisting this episode and the topic of next week’s episode as well. Which is kind of funny because the book I’m reading right now, or I should say the physical book I’m reading, because you guys know I’ve always got a book in audible going as well. The physical book I’m reading is Resisting Happiness by Matthew Kelly.

In this book Matthew Kelly states, “The hardest war to win is the one you don’t even realize you are fighting, and the hardest enemy to defeat is the one you don’t even know exists. Every day you are at war with resistance.”

I love you all for reaching out and letting me know how the interviews and the 100% Jodi episodes are impacting you. The more conversations I have with you the more I want to bring out the best in my guests and encourage them to be open and vulnerable with you. I am also striving to be more open and vulnerable, to share the perspectives and experiences I know will help you.

One topic that seems to be coming up a lot lately with my clients and in this community at large is the theme of being a lone wolf. What I mean by lone wolf is being the type of person who likes to take care of themselves; to be independent and to be seen as someone who has got it all together.

Especially for me and the women I attract into this community, we love helping and taking care of others. There’s no shame in other’s accepting help from us but there’s shame when we even consider asking for help from someone else. It’s a double-standard and we come out the losers.

Thank You to Our Sponsors

Freshbooks: The all new FreshBooks makes ridiculously easy accounting software that’s completely transformed how freelancers and small business owners deal with their day-to-day paperwork. Get a 30 day, unrestricted free trial go to FreshBooks.com/lead and enter WOMEN TAKING THE LEAD in the “How Did You Hear About Us?” section.

altMBA: Seth Godin’s altMBA workshop is an intensive leadership and management workshop designed for changemakers who have a fire in the belly. This is for people who are itching to level up and make a bigger impact. Find out more at:  altmba.com/womentakingthelead

Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!

Resources

Private Facebook Community: Chat, share and collaborate with other women in the community!

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

The Accomplished Community: A community of entrepreneurial Type A women uniting to achieve their biggest goals with confidence, integrity and a sense of humor.

Subscribe to Women Taking the Lead

If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play Music or iHeart Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community!

Rita Morales works with wellness entrepreneurs who want to take their online presence to the next level through authentic branding and creative websites that capture the personality of her clients. 

She is a firm believer that a pretty website is pretty useless without a strategy behind it to maximize sales and conversions.   

Rita empowers her clients by teaching them how to tame technology effectively through a hands-on approach with each client.  

Click to tweet: .@ritasmorales is sharing her story to inspire you on Women Taking the Lead https://womentakingthelead.com/222 #inspiration

Playing Small Moment

Rita knew how to build a website, but she didn’t know enough about herself to create her own branding. Rita had to believe that she could slowly transition into this more powerful state. When she figured out her branding, she finally realized who she was helping, what she had to do and it really opened a whole new view for her.

The Wake Up Call

After Rita established her branding, she finally felt awake. Rita understood what she should have been doing, and learned how to brand herself and others to really make an impact.

Style of Leadership

Rita is an organized, Type A person. Becoming an entrepreneur allowed Rita to see that she didn’t need to be so serious. Rita tries to be relatable but firm in her leadership.

What Are You Excited About?

Rita is taking her solopreneur shop into a larger agency model. Rita knows how to manage projects, so she is excited to grow it and take it to the next level.

Current Business Challenge

Always finding the right people is a challenge that Rita faces. Being Type A, its hard for her to give up certain tasks until she feels like a person is skilled in that area.

Leadership Practice

Rita journals no matter what is going on around her. Her journaling allows her to analyze everything and understand things better. After her journaling, she will do a page of affirmations.

Advice For Younger Self

Rita would tell her younger self to stop overthinking everything and trying to be perfect.

Inspirational Quote

“You are enough.”

Links

Website: http://ritamorales.com 
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ritamoralesdesign 
FB group: http://facebook.com/groups/brandingyourbusiness
Instagram: http://instagram.com/ritasmorales
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ritasmorales/

Thank You to Our Sponsors

Freshbooks: The all new FreshBooks makes ridiculously easy accounting software that’s completely transformed how freelancers and small business owners deal with their day-to-day paperwork. Get a 30 day, unrestricted free trial go to FreshBooks.com/lead and enter WOMEN TAKING THE LEAD in the “How Did You Hear About Us?” section.

altMBA: Seth Godin’s altMBA workshop is an intensive leadership and management workshop designed for changemakers who have a fire in the belly. This is for people who are itching to level up and make a bigger impact. Find out more at:  altmba.com/womentakingthelead

Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!

Resources

Private Facebook Community: Chat, share and collaborate with other women in the community!

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

The Accomplished Community: A community of entrepreneurial Type A women uniting to achieve their biggest goals with confidence, integrity and a sense of humor.

Subscribe to Women Taking the Lead

If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play Music or iHeart Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community!

This past week turned out to be the week of talking about fears. In last weeks 100% Jodi I talked about all the fears I was confronted with when I was training for and competing in the Spartan Race.

I had forgotten that the title I chose for Alison Cardy's episode was Walking Toward Fear and then the Eleanor Roosevelt quote my assistant chose for the newsletter, originally shared by Nikki Wetherell in her powerful interview in episode 104, had to do with fear.

We’ve got some momentum going so let’s lean into it.

One of my favorite life quotes is:

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." ~ Helen Keller

Hellen Keller is one of my idols. She is right up there with Mother Teresa and Anne Frank. These three women experienced horrific adversity and risk in their life but each one found a way to remain positive, optimistic and soft.

They each felt fear, found acceptance in their life situations and were able to do tremendous good as a result.

According to Cheryl Strayed in her book Wild, “Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me. Insisting on this story was a form of mind control, but for the most part, it worked.”

We have to rewrite our fear stories if we want to free ourselves from a life of limits. If we are too afraid to roll the dice and experience risk then the risk we are actually taking is living an unfulfilled half-life.

Do you wonder why so many people are bored and antsy and looking for diversion? They’ve been playing it safe for too long.

For a lot of you the risk is going to look like being still and just being with yourself for a while. You’re afraid if you do so all the things you don’t like and find lacking in yourself will bubble up and overwhelm you.

All those stories you have about yourself and what you fear might happen if you owned how talented, knowledgeable and experienced you are. If you owned it and started telling and showing people how amazing you are you’re afraid you’ll get called out publicly ridiculed for being a fraud.

And here’s what’s going to sound crazy. That grueling, punishing story you have – that’s your way of playing it safe. You know if you continue to not believe in yourself you don’t have to take any risks.

What stories do you tell yourself that induce fear and keep you playing safe?

In her TED Talk, Shonda Rhimes stated, “A crazy thing happened — the very act of doing the thing that scared me undid the fear. It’s amazing the power of one word. ‘Yes’ changed my life. ‘Yes’ changed me.”

When I first heard about Shonda Rhimes book, Year of Yes, I was turned off by it. I thought she wrote a book about saying yes to everything, which as you know I’m opposed to. Then I found out her book was about saying yes to the things she was afraid of and I was all in.

I love the saying “do something every day that scares you” because I know by exposing ourselves to fear on a regular basis we desensitize ourselves to its paralyzing impact.

In People magazine Dolly Parton shared, “The key to my success has always been that my desire to succeed has always been greater than my fear.”

And that’s just it. You have to focus on the goal, the mission, your Why, however you want to say it. Your desire to be successful has to be greater than your fear. When you focus on the end goal the fear starts to dissipate and you find the ability to get in action.

And if mocking and making light of fear is more helpful to you then listen in to what Elizabeth Gilbert has to say on the subject,

“YOUR FEAR IS BORING.

…Fear is boring, because fear only ever has one thing to say to us, and that thing is: ‘STOP!’…

My fear wants me to stop, because my fear wants me to be safe, and my fear perceives all motion, all inspiration, all work, all activity, all passion whatsoever as potentially life-threatening. My fear wants me to live a smaller life. The smallest imaginable life, ideally. My fear would prefer that I never got out of bed.

Your fear is the same. Exactly the same as mine. I guarantee it.”

It’s perfectly normal to feel fear. And fear is like a beacon to get us to take a look at something that might be lurking under the surface (usually a self-limiting belief that needs to be rewritten), but fear is not a reason to hold back or stop.

For many of you fear is causing you to hold back your gifts and your superpowers from the world. You keep them hidden so no will judge you or find you lacking. But it’s a trick. In order for you to live your best life you must risk everything you fear on the chance that you could change the world.

I have to share the Eleanor Roosevelt quote Nikki Wetherell originally shared in Episode 104.

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."

You absolutely can handle the next thing that comes along. And until it does, keep doing your thing. That’s how you prepare for the unexpected – you live each day doing your best.

What I also find to be true is that we gain confidence in numbers. If you are afraid of something find some company.

Stop trying to go it alone. If you can get help from me or from a community please reach out to me and we can talk through what would be the best fit for you. You can reach me at jodi@womentakingthelead.com.

I’ll leave you with this gem from and unknown source, "Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic."

I hope this was of value to you and here’s to your success!

Thank You to Our Sponsors

Freshbooks: The all new FreshBooks makes ridiculously easy accounting software that’s completely transformed how freelancers and small business owners deal with their day-to-day paperwork. Get a 30 day, unrestricted free trial go to FreshBooks.com/lead and enter WOMEN TAKING THE LEAD in the “How Did You Hear About Us?” section.

altMBA: Seth Godin’s altMBA workshop is an intensive leadership and management workshop designed for changemakers who have a fire in the belly. This is for people who are itching to level up and make a bigger impact. Find out more at:  altmba.com/womentakingthelead

Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!

Resources

Private Facebook Community: Chat, share and collaborate with other women in the community!

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

The Accomplished Community: A community of entrepreneurial Type A women uniting to achieve their biggest goals with confidence, integrity and a sense of humor.

Subscribe to Women Taking the Lead

If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play Music or iHeart Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community!

Alison Cardy is a career coach who runs an international career coaching team specializing in guiding people through career changes. Her team’s work focuses on that crucial step before job searching: helping you figure out what it is you actually want to be doing with your life. She and her team have guided hundreds of people, in every industry imaginable, to innovative and functional career solutions.

Alison is the author of the 5-star rated, bestseller, Career Grease: How to Get Unstuck and Pivot Your Career. Her work has been featured on Monster, Forbes, The Muse, Undercover Recruiter, and The Washington Post.  

Click to tweet: .@cardycareers is sharing her story to inspire you on Women Taking the Lead https://womentakingthelead.com/221 #inspiration

Playing Small Moment

Alison was so used to following the path her parents put in front of her, that she got stuck in a safe routine. Realizing she had to break out of the cycle, she hopped on the Metro to DC for a solo trip. Once she stepped out of the fear, she looked around and saw it for what it was.

The Wake Up Call

Alison naturally focuses internally. When she transitioned into leading team, she realized things were getting a little rocky. Alison realized there was a blindspot getting in her way and had to refocus.

Style of Leadership

Alison takes care of herself, but is always trying to look at ways she can lift up the people in her world. She wants people to know she is not just in it for her, but them too.

What Are You Excited About?

Alison is excited about her book, “Career Grease: How to Get Unstuck and Pivot Your Career”

Current Business Challenge

Alison enjoys work and sometimes struggles to turn off her work brain in the middle of the night.

Leadership Practice

Alison actually cares.

Advice For Younger Self

“Keep doing those scary things.”

Inspirational Quote

“Your real life, your whole life is worth getting your heart broken a few thousand times.” ~Martha Beck

Links

Website: http://www.cardycareercoaching.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cardycareercoaching/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/cardycareers
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alisoncardy

Thank You to Our Sponsors

Freshbooks: The all new FreshBooks makes ridiculously easy accounting software that’s completely transformed how freelancers and small business owners deal with their day-to-day paperwork. Get a 30 day, unrestricted free trial go to FreshBooks.com/lead and enter WOMEN TAKING THE LEAD in the “How Did You Hear About Us?” section.

altMBA: Seth Godin's altMBA workshop is an intensive leadership and management workshop designed for changemakers who have a fire in the belly. This is for people who are itching to level up and make a bigger impact. Find out more at: altmba.com/womentakingthelead

Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!

Resources

Private Facebook Community: Chat, share and collaborate with other women in the community!

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

The Accomplished Community: A community of entrepreneurial Type A women uniting to achieve their biggest goals with confidence, integrity and a sense of humor.

Subscribe to Women Taking the Lead

If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play Music or iHeart Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community!

This past Saturday, June 17th of 2017, I completed my first Spartan Race. I did the Spartan Sprint with several family members and friends and it was just an amazing experience.

And it wasn’t amazing to me because everything went smoothly and as planned. It was amazing because it was really, really hard and I did it. The community, the comraderie and the overall energy of the event was something that really needs to be experienced.

As I was heading into the last week of training and through the day after I completed the race I was reflecting back and thinking about what I learned through the whole experience and how this goal changed me.

Why Would I Sign Up for a Spartan Race?

First I have to thank my sister Kerri who on Thanksgiving Day in 2016 came up to talk to me as she and her family were getting ready to leave. She announced to me that she had read my book Accomplished and had made a commitment.

I was overjoyed because one thing I’ve learned for my own happiness is not to expect family members to be as into my career and business as I am. Any support I get from them is great.

So when my sister made this announcement I was touched and I asked what she committed to. During the day her husband had been talking about his recent experience doing the Spartan Stadium Sprint at Fenway Park so I should not have been surprised when Kerri declared that she was going to do her first Spartan Race in June.

Caught up in the moment I blurted out, “I’ll run it with you!”

Being a woman of integrity, even after the reality of what I had just done had started to settle in over the next few days I got online and registered myself for the race. 

And knowing what I know about big scary goals, and my own need for external accountability, in the next month I told anyone who would listen that I was running my first Spartan Race in June.

The other reality was I was getting out of shape. I ran a marathon in 2006 and managed to continue to work out with my personal trainer, run and do boot camp classes and yoga even after starting my business in 2010.

However, my time and resources were seriously depleted when I was preparing to launch this podcast. In 2015 I was no longer working out with my personal trainer and getting to the boot camp classes and yoga felt like too much of a time commitment.

Pair that with eating on the go and resorting to a cheese and cracker dinner each night because I didn’t have the desire or energy to prepare and clean up a home cooked meal.

Training for this race forced me to take my health and fitness more seriously, to get in the workout even when I felt there wasn’t enough time and to say no to things that are not serving me, my health, my money or my peace of mind.

That’s still a work in progress. That means I need to set another really big goal to support me in this.

How I've Used Spartan Racing to Conquer Fear and More

Making the time, doing the workouts, and feeling intimidated have not been easy. But it has been good.

My life is more balanced and I am healthier and more confident as a result.

In my “reflecting back” process the word “fear” kept coming to me. I learned a lot about fear and had many intimate up-close and personal moments with my own fears since beginning this.

There were fears of sacrificing time in my business to make time for training – the very fear that caused me to be out of shape in the first place.

There were mortal fears of getting injured by falling, pulling a muscle, twisting an ankle, etc.

Then there were fears of looking stupid, out of shape, intimidated, and weak.

And get this one: the fear of feeling afraid. I’m afraid to be afraid.

Oh my God, that one landed like a boulder on my chest and the consequences of this fear are still revealing themselves.

I don’t want to be afraid to feel fear anymore so I captured for you here a few things I have learned about fear while I was training for and competing in this Spartan Race.

Thank You to Our Sponsors

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altMBA: Seth Godin’s altMBA workshop is an intensive leadership and management workshop designed for changemakers who have a fire in the belly. This is for people who are itching to level up and make a bigger impact. Find out more at: altmba.com/womentakingthelead

Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!

Resources

Private Facebook Community: Chat, share and collaborate with other women in the community!

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

The Accomplished Community: A community of entrepreneurial Type A women uniting to achieve their biggest goals with confidence, integrity and a sense of humor.

Subscribe to Women Taking the Lead

If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play Music or iHeart Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community!

 

Joe De Sena - the founder and CEO of Spartan Race, the world's leading obstacle racing company.

Following several successful entrepreneurial adventures and a career on Wall Street, Joe moved his family to Pittsfield, Vermont to operate an organic farm, a bed and breakfast, and a general store for hikers. It was here his passion grew for ultramarathons, adventure races, and endurance events. His racing resume is the stuff of legend – over 50 ultra-events overall and 14 Ironman events in one year alone. It was in Vermont the idea for the Spartan Race was born. 

With more than 200 events in 30+ countries planned for 2017, Spartan Race has more than 1 million global participants offering open heats for all fitness levels and ages, as well as competitive and elite heats. The company has two popular NBC television series, making obstacle racing one of the fastest growing sports—and lifestyles— in the world.

Joe’s message of inspiration and personal transformation, combined with his status as a two-time New York Times Best Selling Author of “Spartan Up” and “Spartan Fit.”, makes him a popular keynote speaker and public figure. Joe currently lives in Tokyo, Japan with his wife Courtney and their four children. 

Click to tweet: .@SpartanRace is sharing his story to inspire you on Women Taking the Lead https://womentakingthelead.com/220 #inspiration

A Woman Who Has Influenced Your Life

In the 1970s, Joe’s mother entered a health food store and met a yogi from India who changed her life. After that trip to the store, she began meditation, adopted a vegan diet and started teaching yoga. These new life changes made Joe’s mother an outcast and resulted in his parents getting a divorce. Joe learned to follow what he believed was right in his heart.

Trends He Sees That Hold Women Back

Both women and men need to believe in themselves more. Believing in yourself can allow you to push through when things seem stacked against you.

What He Has Learned From Women

Joe is confident that women are definitely tougher than men, probably due to biological reasons. In his races, he has witnessed women with a higher tolerance for pain and an unwillingness to quit.

The Necessary Changes

Women need to believe in themselves and stop talking about the things that are limiting them. Joe believes that you need to take control and make things happen. You may not get recognized for your hard work right away, but keep at it and you will.

What Are You Excited About

Joe is currently writing a third book called Spartan X, which he hopes will help people 10X their lives. He is also working on expanding obstacle racing to 20 new countries, and even adding it to the Olympics.

Inspirational Quote

“It could be worse.”

Links

Website: https://spartan.com
Email: joe@spartan.com
Spartan Up Podcast: https://spartan.com/en/media/podcast/episodes
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SpartanRace

Thank You to Our Sponsors

altMBA: Seth Godin’s altMBA workshop is an intensive leadership and management workshop designed for changemakers who have a fire in the belly. This is for people who are itching to level up and make a bigger impact. Find out more at: altmba.com/womentakingthelead

Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!

Resources

Private Facebook Community: Chat, share and collaborate with other women in the community!

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

The Accomplished Community: A community of entrepreneurial Type A women uniting to achieve their biggest goals with confidence, integrity and a sense of humor.

Subscribe to Women Taking the Lead

If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play Music or iHeart Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community!

I thought the last episode of networking tips shared by the women in this community was going to wrap up the series but as I was chatting with a friend I realized there was still more to share.

Bear with me because I’m going to keep going until I’ve wrung this topic out. Networking is so crucial to our success in our careers and in our business I don’t want to leave any stone unturned.

I’ve discussed the opportunities to do group networking and broke down the key elements of the one-to-one meeting. Now I want to share with you a skill that if you can focus on and constantly improve, will have everything else fall into place more easily.

The skill is listening.

We’re often told we need to listen more or listen better but we’re never told how to do it.

This is a complaint I hear from many people about getting information from the gurus out there. We are told what to do, and that’s great, but we’re not told how to do it so we waste time and energy spinning our wheels and then feeling like we got the wrong information.

And this skill doesn’t just impact your ability to network effectively, it impacts all the interactions you have with others. The better you are at listening the better you will be at sales, negotiating, building a team, handling customer complaints, getting buy-in, being heard and considered, and giving constructive feedback.

I’m going to share with you 3 different levels of listening and the results you can get from each.

The Three Levels of Listening

Subjective Listening

The most basic level of listening is subjective listening. You don’t have to put any effort into listening at this level as it’s the type of listening we grant most people and other people grant us.

As it is subjective the listening is focused on you as the listener. This may sound odd because you’re thinking the person talking should be the subject but the reality is when we are bringing this level of listening we are paying closer attention to our internal dialogue than we are to the other person, though you may not be aware of it.

As the other person is talking you listen through the filter of, “What has this to do with me?”

You are listening for commonalities and information you can respond to or use.

You know you’re brining this level of listening if when you get bored or irritated by what the other person is saying you start to check out. Because you have decided that what they are saying is not important to you, you no longer want to be in the conversation.

There is nothing wrong with this level of listening, per se. It is part of our wiring for survival and making our way in the world to see and hear everything through a filter of, “is this important to me?”

Example of Subjective Listening

The person you are talking to:  “I had the toughest time trying to get myself up a half hour earlier to take my morning walk.”

You respond:  “Yeah, I have a hard time waking up in the morning too.”

Or, you respond: “You know what I do? I go to bed a half hour early at night.”

The first response will likely go over better than the second. Rule of thumb, don’t jump in with advice unless you’ve been asked for it.

Since this is the type of listening we are typically giving and receiving hardly anyone would think there was a problem with the conversation. We are often trying to find commonalities with the people we are first meeting so a response like “me too!” is not uncalled for but the rewards are so much greater if you can hold off on that for a little bit.

Objective Listening

The second level of listening is objective listening. If this is as far as you get you will still be an effective listener and networker.

When you are listening objectively you are completely focused on the person you are talking to. 

Though your mind chatter will still be going on you don’t give it that much attention. Though you will of course notice commonalities if there are any, you are not overly concerned with how the information relates personally to you.

You are listening to understand what the other person is saying. You may reflect back what they’ve said to you to make sure you got it right and you’ll ask follow-up questions to get a better understanding of what they are telling you.

Example of Objective Listening

The person you are talking to:  “I had the toughest time trying to get myself up a half hour earlier to take my morning walk.”

You respond:  “You’re taking on walking first thing in the morning. What brought this on?”

Can you see how energetically this type of listening makes for a richer conversation as opposed to saying “me too” or “this is what you should do”?

Even if you are in fact also getting up earlier to walk in the morning hold off for a few minutes to keep your attention on the other person. They will appreciate it.

This type of listening is very effective, but doesn’t get to the “heart” of the matter.

Intuitive Listening

The highest level of listening you can bring is intuitive listening. And when I say intuitive I don’t mean you got magical messages from the universe.

Intuitive listening is paying attention to what the speaker is saying as well as taking in their tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, word choice, their overall energy level, the feelings they are expressing, etc. 

It’s paying attention to what’s NOT being said.  This is the most powerful form of listening and allows you to really connect with the other person.

You not only want to understand what they are saying you want to understand why what they are saying is important to them. It’s the complete opposite of subjective listening.

The goal is to really know who the other person is as a human being and what their core values are. You want them to walk away from the conversation with you thinking, “They really get me.”

If you can leave someone with that experience you will be memorable and hold more sway in their mind.

Example of Intuitive Listening

Although you will likely not be diving in with a typical intuitive listening response at the beginning of a topic here’s what it might sound like…

The person you are talking to:  I had the toughest time trying to get myself up a half hour earlier to take my morning walk.

You respond:  It sounds like you really want to do this, you really want to live a healthy lifestyle, but you’re not used to it yet and you’re finding it to be challenging and maybe a little frustrating.

Don’t be afraid to dive in and take a stab at it. Even if you get it wrong the other person will explain why you have it wrong without thinking any less of you.

In fact, most people enjoy the opportunity to really explain themselves and make sure the person listening to them really understands where they are coming from. As long as you get to that point it doesn’t matter that you were off the mark at first.

And let me tell you if you can provide someone with the experience of being truly heard and feeling like you get them, you have sped up the relationship building process. You are well on your way to building trust, respect, and if you want, friendship.

I can’t underscore enough how important it is for you to develop your ability to listen with your entire being. It will radically change your life. You will show up differently to those who know you and they will start interacting with you more positively and appreciatively.

Do me a favor, if you know anyone who would love to get those benefits please share this episode with them. The more people walking the earth with intuitive listening skills the better the planet will be.

I hope this was helpful to you and here’s to your success!

Thank You to Our Sponsors

Fanchest: Sports gift boxes loaded with products from your guy’s favorite team, in the perfect packaging delivered right to their door. Licensed apparel and fun surprises any sports fan will love. Free shipping and free returns. Enter promo code Jodi to get $10 off! www.fanchest.com

Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!

Resources

Private Facebook Community: Chat, share and collaborate with other women in the community!

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

The Accomplished Community: A community of entrepreneurial Type A women uniting to achieve their biggest goals with confidence, integrity and a sense of humor.

Subscribe to Women Taking the Lead

If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play Music or iHeart Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community!

Maggie Patterson is a communications strategist and Chief Marketing Officer at Scoop Industries. With 15+ years’ experience (11 of which as a self-employed consultant), Maggie has spent her entire career working in client-facing roles in marketing and as a copywriter. Today, she works with service-based business owners to help them implement smart strategies for business growth. She’s the co-host of the Service Business Success podcast, a Master Level Content Marketer as awarded by Copyblogger and her work has been widely published by leading websites including Virgin.com, Fastcompany.com and more.

Click to tweet: .@magspatterson is sharing her story to inspire you on Women Taking the Lead https://womentakingthelead.com/219 #inspiration

Playing Small Moment

Maggie was the epitome of playing small, until a trip of lifetime with her husband changed everything. While she was unplugged, she realized life was too short to do work that didn’t make her happy. When Maggie got home, she transitioned her clients and within 6-7 months, she was working for micro small companies and much happier.

The Wake Up Call

Maggie was possessive of her business and felt that she had to do all of the tasks herself. Maggie’s coach pointed out that she was making a decent income and it was time to outsource. After hiring her first virtual assistant, Maggie noticed an astounding difference in her revenue. Now, she has full-time employees!

Style of Leadership

Maggie views herself as a renegade leader, as she doesn’t do rules very well. Understanding that she can still have her vision/goals, but as a leader part of her role is giving her team permission to improve on her ways. Not apologizing for being “too bossy” or “too much” To be the renegade and own that has been amazing for her.

What Are You Excited About?

For the last year, Maggie and her business partner have been mentoring women who are stuck and help them move through it by focusing on whats important in the business. Ultimately, they focus on going back to basics.

Current Business Challenge

Maggie battles with her inner critic and an imposter complex, but she is always evolving and figuring it out. “That inner critic? Man, she is mean!” Maggie doesn’t let it get her down, but it’s always present during the important and scary things that are necessary for success.

Leadership Practice

Maggie is a prolific planner and often works in 12 week sprints.

Advice For Younger Self

“Oh you got this girl. Go do it!” So many times we hold ourselves back, so she would give younger Maggie the nudge needed to go do it.

Inspirational Quote

“I run this day. This day does not run me, because otherwise, chaos will ensue.”

Links

Website: http://www.scoopindustries.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/scoopindustries
Twitter: @magspatterson

Thank You to Our Sponsors

Fanchest: Sports gift boxes loaded with products from your guy’s favorite team, in the perfect packaging delivered right to their door. Licensed apparel and fun surprises any sports fan will love. Free shipping and free returns. Enter promo code Jodi to get $10 off! www.fanchest.com

Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!

Resources

Private Facebook Community: Chat, share and collaborate with other women in the community!

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

The Accomplished Community: A community of entrepreneurial Type A women uniting to achieve their biggest goals with confidence, integrity and a sense of humor.

Subscribe to Women Taking the Lead

If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play Music or iHeart Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community!