f the secondary school for girls—a speech on true enlightenment. To the representatives of the press a speech. He called the Jews together: "Jews, I have summoned you." … A month or two passes—he does nothing. Again he calls the merchants together—a speech. Again the Jews: "Jews, I have summoned you."… He has wearied them all. At last he says to his Chancellor: "No, the work is too much for me, I shall have to resign."

* * * * *

A student at a village theological school was learning Latin by heart. Every half-hour he runs down to the maids' room and, closing his eyes, feels and pinches them; they scream and giggle; he returns to his book again. He calls it "refreshing oneself."

* * * * *

The Governor's wife invited an official, who had a thin voice and was her adorer, to have a cup of chocolate with her, and for a week afterwards he was in bliss. He had saved money and lent it but not on interest. "I can't lend you any, your son-in-law would gamble it away. No, I can't." The son-in-law is the husband of the daughter who once sat in a box in a boa; he lost at cards and embezzled Government money. The official, who was accustomed to herring and vodka, and who had never before drunk chocolate, felt sick after the chocolate. The expression on the lady's face: "Aren't I a darling?"; she spent any amount of money on dresses and looked forward to making a display of them—so she gave parties.

* * * * *

Going to Paris with one's wife is like going to Tula[1] with one's samovar.

[Footnote 1: Tula is a Russian city where samovars are manufactured.]

* * * * *

The young do not go in for literature, because the best of them work on ste