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How Doth the Simple Spelling Bee

Owen Wister

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Book Excerpt: 
. . .—

[Pg 14]

If you'll but drop the e in pi
Better on stomach pi will li.

and also:—

The b in lam
's not worth a dam—

and others.

As early as possible the next morning I sent a message of capitulation to Masticator B. Fellows.

What can I do for you?

was the message; and the reply came back:—

Delighted you are with us.
Private car train twenty-one to-day.

The secretary of Masticator was at the steps of the car and presented me at once to a most lovely girl. At the news she was to serve on the [Pg 15]Simplified Spelling Committee with me, my heart bounded, every doubt left me, and I exclaimed:—

"I will spell just as you say."

"Then," she most sweetly returned, "never let us consent to any simplification of kiss." And I counted such answer a very happy omen.

She had come from a woman's college, and her impo. . . Read More

Community Reviews

Charming and comical; A good, light read.

Huh?. I just did not get this 1907 story, tale, whatever it is supposed to be. It did not make any sense to me, particularly because of the misspellings.

Wister's short story is a satirical indictment of progressive changes to American universities during the Progressive Era.