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The Facts Concerning the Recent Carnival of Crime

Mark Twain

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Book Excerpt: 
. . .ll over, but it seemed to subjugate me, too, for a moment. The pygmy contemplated me awhile with his weasel eyes, and then said, in a peculiarly sneering way:

"You turned a tramp away from your door this morning."

I said crustily:

"Perhaps I did, perhaps I didn't. How do you know?"

"Well, I know. It isn't any matter how I know."

"Very well. Suppose I did turn a tramp away from the door—what of it?"

"Oh, nothing; nothing in particular. Only you lied to him."

"I didn't! That is, I—"

"Yes, but you did; you lied to him."

I felt a guilty pang—in truth, I had felt it forty times before that tramp had traveled a block from my door—but still I resolved to make a show of feeling slandered; so I said:

"This is a baseless impertinence. I said to the tramp—"

"There—wait. You were about to lie again. I know what you said to him. . . . Read More

Community Reviews

Interesting read

This book was one of the funnier looks at what could happen if a person had no conscience and no sense of self-accountability. It was a book of dark humor that put a wicked grin on my face as I listened. However, there was no suggestion of dealing with accountability to others - of having the police

4.5 out of 5

Damn, but now that's an excellent work of dark humor. A man explains that the recent local wave of crime is because he had struggled with - and finally murdered - his conscience.

Kinda like a more grown-up, humorous, and fucked-up version of Pinocchio.

The introductory paragraphs of the book about his aunt made no sense at all - that is, until you get to the end. I was surprisingly pleased with the direction the story took.

Sardonic and somewhat dark, it was a refreshing read on the relationship of humans and their conscience.

A man wonders why he always feels bad for immoral acts that he commits and so comes to see that this is due to his conscience. At some point his conscience materializes in some fashion and he decides to kill it for making him feel bad. Without his conscience, the man runs wild through Connecticut, m

Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses is one of the best didactic hatchet jobs I've come across.

Reading some of Twain's short stories, I cannot help thinking he had been fighting his inner demons for some time, and near the the end of his life, they had won.

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