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The Autobiography of Methuselah

John Kendrick Bangs

52 ratings
The Autobiography of Methuselah | John Kendrick Bangs

The Autobiography of Methuselah

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A satirical look at early biblical events from the point of view of someone who was there to witness most of them: the oldest man in recorded history.
given Enochsville a public library, and had filled its shelves with several tons of the best reading that the Egyptian writers of the day provided, was regarded as a partial atonement for some of his indiscretions, and the endowment of a large stone-quarry at Ararat where children were taught to read and write, helped materially in his rehabilitation, but on the whole Uncle Zib was looked upon[33] askance by the majority. On the other hand Uncle Azag, a strong, pious man, who owed money to everybody in town, was the one after whom my mother wished me to be named, a proposition which my father resisted to the uttermost expense of his powers.

"What's the use?" I heard him ask, warmly. "He'll get his name on plenty of I. O. U.'s on his own account before he leaves this glad little earth, without our giving him an autograph that is already on enough over-due paper to decorate every flat in Uncle Zib's model tenements."

The disputation continued with some acrimony for a week, until finally my father put his foot down.

"I'm tired of referring to him as IT," he blurted out one night. "We'll compromise, and name him after me and thee.[34] He shall be called Me for me, and Thou for thee, Selah!"

And so it was that from that day forth I was known as Methouselah, since corrupted into Methuselah.


[35]

CHAPTER II

EARLY INFLUENCES

Boys remained boys in those old days very much longer than they do now. The smartness of children like my grandsons, Shem, Ham and Japhet, for instance, who at the age of two hundred and fifty arrogate to themselves all the knowledge of the universe, was comparatively unknown when I was a

Susan 05/20/2024
An amusing take on the life of Methuselah - humorous of course, with no relation to reality. The troubles caused him by his family make him almost despair - and he well knows he is the oldest man who ever lived, even back then. After all, children play with dinosaurs. Although he has a reason for th
Joe 08/16/2022
John Kendrick banks has a way of writing satires with Dry humor. Very clever Sometimes hilarious. The little jokes just keep coming.
Sotiris 09/13/2021
Light comedy was written a few centuries back. Is all about the tale of Methuselah, ancestor of Adam and Eve and describes the early life of humans. Good humour and respect for religion and customs. Nevertheless what I realized after reading this book is that from the 3 kids of Adam and Even, 2 bloo
Andrew 08/01/2021
Seems typical of the light humor of the period, but dated and more often than not doesn't quite hit the mark. The author was a prolific writer of similar works, as well as plays; and several of his stories were later adapted as teleplays. If you enjoy the lesser works of Bangs' friend Mark Twain, yo
Bud 02/06/2020
A slightly humorous diversion. An audio book to which I listened. I was happy when it was over.
Joel 01/31/2018
An enjoyable read, light satire.
Tettey 03/23/2014
i can't say i know why they say it, but they do say that you cannot know where you're going if you don't know where you've come from.

so unless you're a lazy, don't-care-to-know-where-you're-going mofo, you should take the time to read these carefully chiseled out words by Methusalah, your ancestor.

b
Slightly 11/05/2011
kind of funny. not as good as houseboat on the river styx, but good. the book sort of looses steam after the first half. the last chapter is completely worthless. but i really enjoyed the chapters about adam and eve.

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