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Surfinland

Mike Bozart

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Surfinland | Mike Bozart

Surfinland

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If Charles Bukowski were still alive and got stranded in Charlotte, this is the bar he would undoubtedly wind up in.
Thirty-one-year-old Alexander looked at the digital clock-radio on the walnut nightstand in his apartment bedroom on a warmer-than-normal October 8th (2014) evening in southeast Charlotte. He was anxious and quite pensive. 8:57. Ok, now it’s 8:58. What are the chances of seeing the minute change? I guess if glancing for a whole second, the odds would be 1 in 60 – less than 2%. Can I do the math in my head? My mind is frazzled at the moment. Invert 6/10. Reduces to 5/3. So, it’s about 1.67%. But, did I look for precisely one second? Hmmm … What fraction-of-a-second gaze would result in exactly a 1% chance of seeing the minute numeral(s) advance? [0.6 seconds] Hmmm … Oh, why do I think such nonsense? Sylvia said that she’d be there – there being ‘the Queen City’s best dive bar’ – at ten on the dot. Which dot? The top one. Got 34 minutes to kill. Why so late on a Wednesday? Doesn’t she have to work tomorrow morning? Surf Inn. What kind of name for a bar is that this far inland? That suds-and-spirits joint is 171 miles [275 km] from the Atlantic Ocean! Odd, but maybe the owner is a former surfer. Who owned a seaside motel? And then hit hard times? Whew! Boy, I sure am nervous. Need to throw on some more cologne. Haven’t been on a first date in ages. Hard to go on a second date without going on a first one. When was the last time? Ah yes, Erie [PA] back in the spring of 2002. What a crazy chick she was. Wonder if Cindy is dripping hot wax all over some dude’s dong right at this very moment. No telling. Maybe she’s in Pittsburgh now. Yeah, psycho Cindy said that she wanted to move there. Hope she hasn’t died from a candle fire.

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