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The Silly Syclopedia

Noah Lott

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The Silly Syclopedia | Noah  Lott

The Silly Syclopedia

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A Terrible Thing in the Form of a Literary Torpedo which is Launched for HILARIOUS PURPOSES ONLY. Inaccurate in Every Particular Containing Copious Etymological Derivations and Other Useless Things by Noah Lott
before the Secretary went into politics deep enough to stay there and make expenses he took a slight trip to Europe.

Two weeks later he was on his way home to his beloved land on the good ship "Kaiser Wilhelm, the Grocer."

The Stars and Stripes seemed to wave a welcome to him as he approached the hospitable shores of Fire Island.

"It is good, so good to breathe once more the air of Liberty!" said the Secretary, and ten minutes later the "Kaiser Wilhelm, the Grocer" was at her dock.

"Ah! how happy I am to be once more where Freedom reigns!" said the Secretary as he walked proudly down the gangway plank.

"Wait!"

The speaker was a short-set man with a thick face and a wide voice.

The Secretary paled his cheeks.

"Who are you?"

"I am an American citizen; leave me pass!" exclaimed the Secretary.

"So am I," said the man with a thick face; "and nothing passes me. You have been to Europe, have you not?"

"Do you think I used the 'Kaiser Wilhelm the Grocer' to come from Staten Island?" asked the Secretary.

The man laughed, loosely.

"Swear!" he said.

"At you?" inquired the Secretary.

"Swear you are not a smuggler," said the roan.

"I ought to kick you for such an insult," said the Secretary.

"Business before pleasure," said the man; "swear that you are not a robber."

[pg 28]

"I swear," said the Secretary; "inwardly, outwardly, earnestly and pictorially, I swear!"

"By the memory of George Washington you swear that you are not a smugglesome man?"

"I do," said the Secretary.

"Hold up both hands and swear!"

The Secretary did so.

"With both hands behind your back and your eyes fixed on the Declaration of Independence sign this s

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