While dining at the Panda Express (my one animal-protein day for the week) on Seneca Place at South Boulevard (Charlotte, NC, USA) with my charming, one-of-a-kind, lemon-pepper-chicken-loving Filipina wife, Monique (Agent 32), on a hot Saturday afternoon in June (2018); I overheard several, ebullient, 20-something Asian Americans at an adjacent table having a Facebook-specific discussion. My ears perked up. They were trying to decide how many types of users there were on the zeitgeist-revealing social-media site. The female said that there were around 50; the guy next to her claimed that the number was more like 30; another dude then boldly stated that it could all boil down to a dozen. I quietly mused: How many modes and nodes of narcissistic gratification are on that online platform? During next Monday’s lunchbreak at the office, I pondered this idea of classifiable types (or categories) of Facebook users. A faux-incandescent lightbulb went off in my 53-year-old cranium. My not-what-it-once-was brain’s rust-encrusted gears started to grind out a possible story idea. What if I logged onto Facebook right now and noted the first 26 types that I run across. A type for each letter of the alphabet. If a type is repeated, just skip it and move onto the next distinct one until 26 unique personality types are amassed. Yeah, let’s do this!