All You Can Books

Eliza

Barry Pain

30 ratings
Eliza | Barry Pain

Eliza

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A gentle, yet deliciously humorous series of anecdotes following the life of the main character and his wife, Eliza.
ons, and made forty-eight cards altogether. You see, I remembered your rule."

"My dear Eliza," I said, "I told you as plainly as possible that it was a matter of taste. You ought not to have left forty-eight at once."

"Oh, I couldn't keep running backwards and forwards leaving a few at a time. I've got something else to do. There's three pair of your socks in the basket waiting to be darned, as it is."

"And, good heavens! That Popworth can't be my Popworth. If he's only married this year, he can't, in the nature of things, have got eleven children. And a house like this can't call on a house like that without a something to justify it."

"That's what I thought."

"Then what on earth did you call for?"

"I didn't. Who said I did?"


I gave a sigh of relief. Later in the evening, when Eliza took a card, notched a bit out of each side, and began winding silk on it, I thought it wiser to say nothing. It is better sometimes to pretend not to see things.

 

ELIZA'S MOTHER

I generally send Eliza to spend a day with her mother early in December, and try to cheer her up a little. I daresay the old lady is very lonely, and appreciates the kindly thought. The return ticket is four-and-two, and Eliza generally buys a few flowers to take with her. That does not leave much change out of five shillings when the day is over, but I don't grudge the money. Eliza's mother generally tries to find out, without precisely asking, what we should like for a Christmas present. Eliza does not actually tell her, or even hint it—she would not care to do anything of that sort. But she manages, in a tactful sort of way, to let her know.

For instance, the year before last Eliza's mother happened to say, "I wonder if you know what I am going to give you th

Gregory 08/12/2024
Barry Pain is best known today for his horror fiction, but was famous in his day primarily as a humorist. He wrote five extremely slim volumes featuring Eliza and her husband (the narrator, who I want to say is not named?). Those have been collected under the uninspired name of "The Eliza Stories,"
Lakshmi 01/01/2017
Awesome ! I didn't think there was anyone who could match P.G Wodehouse's humor. Thankfully i am wrong. Mr.Barry Pain's reading is a joy to read.
I regret having discovered this author so late !

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