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The Cheerful Smugglers

Ellis Parker Butler

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The Cheerful Smugglers | Ellis Parker Butler

The Cheerful Smugglers

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Saving for the baby's education: how can a young family be disciplined so as to regularly put money in the pig (bank)? Why, put a tariff on all items coming into the house, just like the U.S. Government does/did for items coming into the country! But the devil is in the details; what about taxing items brought in by visitors? Is the housemaid herself a taxable item? What items really are 'necessaries' versus luxuries? When visitors arrive these guests stoop to either 'smuggling' in their luggage items to avoid having to pay up to 30% of the value, or wear only what they came dressed in. The hosts are equally hypocritical, but all parties accuse the others of cheating. How will the education fund fare? Will the guest leave in a huff? Find out!
ner-bell tinkle.

“You had better drop eight cents in the bank before you forget it,” said Mrs. Fenelby.

“Eight cents?” inquired Tom, quite at a loss to remember what he was to pay eight cents for.

“Eight cents,” repeated his wife. “For the candy. It is eighty cents a pound, isn’t it? But it is a luxury, isn’t it? That would be twenty-four cents!”

“Yes, twenty-four cents,” said Tom, smiling. “Twenty-four cents; but I don’t pay it. You pay it.”

[Pg 52]I pay it!” cried Mrs. Fenelby. “The idea! I didn’t buy the candy. I didn’t even ask you to buy it, Tom, although I am very glad to have it, and you are a dear to bring it to me. But you are the one to pay for it. You bought it.”

“My dear,” said Mr. Fenelby, “whoever brings a thing into the house pays the duty on it. I gave you the box of candy when we were a full block from the house, and you accepted it, and it was your property after that, and you brought it into the house, and you must pay the duty on it.”

For a moment Mrs. Fenelby was inclined[Pg 53] to be hurt, and then she laughed.

“What is it?” her husband asked, as he seated himself at his end of the table, and unfolded his napkin.

“I’ll pay the twenty-four cents; but please don’t bring me any more candy,” she said.[Pg 54] “I can’t afford presents. But that wasn’t what I was laughing about. I just happened to think of Will and Kitty. Will they have to pay duty on their trunks and all the things they have in them? Kitty has the most luxurious dresses, and

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