Mrs. B. Anything to accommodate you, Mr. Cox.

Cox. Thank you. Then, perhaps, you’ll be good enough to hold this glass, while I finish my toilet.

Mrs. B. Certainly. [Holding glass before Cox, who ties his cravat.] Why, I do declare, you’ve had your hair cut.

Cox. Cut? It strikes me I’ve had it mowed! It’s very kind of you to mention it, but I’m sufficiently[Pg 6] conscious of the absurdity of my personal appearance already. [Puts on his coat.] Now for my hat. [Puts on his hat, which comes over his eyes.] That’s the effect of having one’s hair cut. This hat fitted me quite tight before. Luckily I’ve got two or three more. [Goes in at L., and returns, with three hats of different shapes, and puts them on, one after the other—all of which are too big for him.] This is pleasant! Never mind. This one appears to me to wabble about rather less than the others—[Puts on hat,]—and now I’m off! By the bye, Mrs. Bouncer, I wish to call your attention to a fact that has been evident to me for some time past—and that is, that my coals go remarkably fast—

Mrs. B. Lor, Mr. Cox!

Cox. It is not the case only with the coals, Mrs. Bouncer, but I’ve lately observed a gradual and steady increase of evaporation among my candles, wood, sugar, and lucifer