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Bib Ballads

Ring Lardner

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Bib Ballads | Ring Lardner

Bib Ballads

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Ring Lardner is a typical parent when his first child is born, full of wonder and the rest of the usual emotions as he watches his little son grow. He wrote a series of 29 short poems on various facets of parenthood.
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AN APPRECIATIVE AUDIENCE

My son, I wish that it were half
As easy to extract a laugh
From grown-ups as from thee.
Then I'd go on the stage, my boy,
While Richard Carle and Eddie Foy
Burned up with jealousy.

I wouldn't have to rack my brain
Or lie awake all night in vain
Pursuit of brand new jokes;
Nor fear my lines were heard with groans
Of pain and sympathetic moans
From sympathetic folks.

I'd merely have to make a face,
Just twist a feature out of place,
And be the soul of wit;
Or bark, and then pretend to bite,
And, from the screams of wild delight,
Be sure I'd made a hit.

 




DISCIPLINE



He couldn't have a doughnut, and it made him very mad;
He undertook to get revenge by screaming at his dad.

"Cut out that noise!" I ordered, and he gave another roar,
And so I put him in "the room" and shut and locked the door.

I left him in his prison cell two minute

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