Jason Weiser tells stories from myths, legends, and folklore that have shaped cultures throughout history. Some, like the stories of Aladdin, King Arthur, and Hercules are stories you think you know, but with surprising origins. Others are stories you might not have heard, but really should. All the stories are sourced from world folklore, but retold for modern ears. These are stories of wizards, knights, Vikings, dragons, princesses, and kings from the time when the world beyond the map was a dangerous and wonderful place.
The story of Pecos Bill is that of a true American Hero...who spends half the story naked and who legitimately thinks he is actually a coyote. But don't tell him that. He's cool and won't hurt you, but you'll get into a long discussion and won't actually convince him or his horse (named Pegasus/Widowmaker/Jeremy) that he's actually a human being. Also, while we're at it, he can lasso water and air because I guess when you ask the audience to suspend disbelief, you go for broke.
The creature this time is the Mongolian Death Worm. It's a sand worm, but don't go getting your maker hooks just yet, because it's no Shai Hulud. And that's a problem, because instead of the spice melange that will give you longevity and maybe prescience, it spits a virulent neurotoxin that will do precisely the exact opposite.
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Sponsors:
Loot Crate: as usual, Loot Crate offers awesome, monthly subscription boxes full of epic and exclusive gear and collectables. This month the theme is animation, and subscribe by the 19th and 9pm PST to get stuff from Rick and Morty, Bob's Burgers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Futurama! Head over to http://www.lootcrate.com/legends (code LEGENDS) to subscribe today.
Also, check out LeVar Burton Reads! It's at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/levar-burton-reads/id1244649384?mt=2 for Apple Podcasts and http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/stitcher/levar-burton-reads for Stitcher.
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Music:
"Vibrant Canopy"
"Seamless"
"Scraper"
"Opener"
"Moon Bicycle Theme"
"Middle"
"Gondola Blue"
"Doubled"
"An Introduction to Beetles"
by Blue Dot Sessions
The story of Sentaro the millionaire* is about a man with a dream. Well, not really a dream, but a deep, abiding fear of death. Soon, he becomes so obsessed with avoiding the inevitable that it leads him on a journey across Japan and later the world to find a way to avoid that which will come to us all.
The creatures this time are from the US and one will "please and excite" you in the forest...then lure you back to its place where it will turn you into an electric eel burrito.
*Sentaro is not a millionaire and really not very smart at all.
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Sponsors:
Blue Apron! Want excellent quality, fresh, seasonal ingredients delivered to your door (who doesn't, though)? Check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends to get your first three meals free, with free shipping.
Thumbtack: From swimming/piano lessons to a new roof, you can find the right pros on Thumbtack.com. Fast quotes, and no need to put your e-mail or phone number out there to figure out how much something will cost.
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Music:
"Waltz and Fury" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Tralaga" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Twosome" by Podington Bear
"Spring Comes Early" by Podington Bear
"Big Blue" by Podington Bear
"Norvik" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Drone Pine" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Chilvat" by Blue Dot Sessions
A young woman's father is taken, and she decided to go to the edges of the known world to get him back, to a faraway island harboring a dark and terrible secret.
The creature this week is skunk ape! He's 0% skunk, 0% ape, and 100% into stealing your produce.
Sponsors:
Carvana: now you can buy a car online and either have it delivered to you (yes) or go pick it up from a car vending machine (an even bigger yes). Check out http://www.carvana.com/legends (code LEGENDS) for more info.
Away: The suitcase that powered our store at a con and the only one I have that I trust with our expensive sound equipment. Seriously, it's a well-designed, sturdy, and smart piece of luggage that you will wonder how you lived without. Check out http://www.awaytravel.com/legends
Music:
"Two Dollar Token" by Blue Dot Sessions
"These Times" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Slow Casino" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Yellow Dust" by Rolemusic
"In My Head" by Podington Bear
"Down and Around" by Podington Bear
"Cylinder Six" by Chris Zabriskie
"Cylinder Five" by Chris Zabriskie
"Drone Thistle" by Blue Dot Sessions
"What Does Anybody Know About Anything" by Chris Zabriskie
A sea horse (but not that type of sea horse) that haunts the coasts of Scotland, the kelpie is a legendary cryptid that represents the dangerous unknown of the water...as well as new guys stopping by your village for the sole purpose of picking up women.
The creature this time is the Shojo, a Japanese yokai, who is living its best life: by lounging on the beach drinking and pulling off daring heists.
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That incredibly readable book on Celtic myths and legends: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0786711078/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_dp_T2_VOCszbY1WGRBD
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Sponsors:
Audible:
Check out http://www.audible.com/binge for a really great deal for a full year of Audible!
Dollar Shave Club: for a great shave at a great price, check out Dollar Shave Club at http://www.dollarshaveclub.com/legends for a $15 value for only $5. Get razors straight to your door whenever you want them.
Carvana: You can buy a car online! And pick it up as early as the next day! From a car vending machine (what?)! Check out http://www.carvana.com/legends for more info.
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Music:
“Closer” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Cottonwoods” by Blue Dot Sessions “Dirtbike Lovers” by Blue Dot Sessions “Drch” by Blue Dot Sessions “Flaked Paint” by Blue Dot Sessions “Mknt” by Blue Dot Sessions “Tensor” by Blue Dot Sessions “The Big Ten” by Blue Dot Sessions “Turning on the Lights” by Blue Dot Sessions “Halter Top” by Podington Bear “Rain On Glass” by Podington Bear “Satellite Bloom” by Podington BearIf you've ever wondered about giving that strange old man a piggy-back ride in the woods, the philosophical nuances of way too much grave robbing, or how many people are necessary to take down a four-story-tall baby bird, well, then this is the episode for you. Sinbad finishes up his epic tale of epicness and we see what led to him falling back on his plan "B" of living a life of leisure on his near-infinite wealth.
The creature this time is the reason you should take a giant bat with you everywhere you go.
Sponsors:
Casper Mattresses. They are really comfortable mattresses that you will miss when you are away from home and want to letters to telling them such but that would be for naught because mattresses don't possess thumbs or sentience. If you want to give this whole "amazingly comfortable mattress" thing a try, you can for 100 days risk free at home. Check out casper.com/legends (code LEGENDS) to get $50 off a mattress purchase.
Dollar Shave Club. You can get razors for only a few dollars a month. They are super-smooth, close shaves and you don't even need to leave your house to get them. Well, the razors, that is. You generally don't leave your house to shave. Unless you're stately, plump Buck Mulligan shaving on the roof. Don't be Buck Mulligan, though. That guy was a jerk. If you're interested in really great razors and not hassling tortured artists, check out dollarshaveclub.com/myths. You can get a $15 value for only $5.
Music:
“Decompression” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Liptis” by Blue Dot Sessions “Sunday Lights” by Blue Dot Sessions “Toppler” by Blue Dot Sessions “Across the River” by Podington Bear “All the Ways” by Podington Bear “Just Watching” by Podington Bear
Whether it's deadly literary references, sticky cows, or extremely inappropriate eulogies, the stories of Sinbad have it all...as long as by "it all" you're looking for a story of how a rich (and, let's face it, not-so-smart) guy for whom everything pretty much always works out. It's like Mr. Magoo without the nearsightedness and with much, much more impalement and cannibalism.
The creature the creature this week is a great excuse to keep your house well-stocked with red peppers and pet crabs.
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Sponsors:
Blue Apron: For fun, fresh ingredients and recipes delivered to your house weekly, check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends to get your first three meals free with free shipping.
Loot Crate: The theme for June is alter-ego, with stuff from Spider-man, the Hulk, DC Comics, and more. Be sure to subscribe at http://www.lootcrate.com/legends (code LEGENDS) by the 19th at 9PM PST.!
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The clip from Planet Earth II: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3OjfK0t1XM
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Music:
“Patched In” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Brass Buttons” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Diner Gothic - Dasher” by Blue Dot Sessions
"Downhill Racer” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Floor Shine” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Inventio” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Midday” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Slider” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Sweetly” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Wax Paper Jewel” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Gorgon” by Jesse Spillane
“Harbor” by Kai Engel
“Front Runner” by Podington BearSinbad (no, not that Sinbad) is probably the 3rd most famous story from a collection titled "One Thousand and One Nights". It's a story of loss, hardship, and redemption...and then partying so hard that you forget all that loss, hardship, and redemption and need to do it all over again. Six more times. On the plus side, it's not just about an out-of-touch rich guy being out-of-touch and rich, but being so while experiencing some pretty weird stuff.
The creature this time is an awkwardly hot squirrel thing who wants to cram a metaphor about pride down your throat.
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Sponsors:
Think you know a place? Well, how about you try the Detour app and see if you really know a place. It's a guided audio tour through cities where Radiolab, Ken Burns, and others take your through their favorite neighborhoods and you learn all the fun, interesting details you had no idea were all around you. Better yet, go with friends and everyone can listen to the same one at the same time. Check out http://www.detour.com/myths for more info.
Dollar. Shave. Club. It's high quality razors and shave butter right to your door for only a few bucks a month. The executive razor is well worth it, but you can put their name to the test and get a razor for a dollar a month (plus shipping). Check out http://www.dollarshaveclub.com/legends for more info on that.
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Music:
“Hickory Interlude” by Blue Dot Sessions
“Plaque” by Blue Dot Sessions “Colocate” by Podington Bear “Oui” by Podington Bear “Pure Swell” by Podington Bear “Streetbeat Heat” by Podington Bear “Transmogrify” by Podington BearIt seems like with a lot of fairy tales someone looked at the original, thought that there was absolutely no way they could tell that to a child, and re-wrote it to get rid of the shocking violence and general terribleness of every creature ever. "The Ugly Duckling" by Danish writer Hans Christian Andersen is no exception. It's shockingly violent and sad at times, but underneath its brutality and ridiculousness is a profound theme that still resonates today. Also birds are jerks.
The creature this time is the Loveland Frog. It's a large-ish frog from my hometown in Ohio. Ohio is so boring we can't even have a cool cryptid.
Sponsors:
Three words: FRONT. POCKET. WALLET. Get one, and say goodbye to an achey back from sitting at an angle all the time. Not only that, but they are hard to pickpocket. Not only THAT, but they are RFID shielded, meaning people can't scan your pocket and get your credit card info. Also, they come in cool leathers, like moose. Really, check it out. The owner is a friend of the show and a regular listener. Go to http://rogueindustries.com and use code LEGENDS at checkout for free shipping.
Dollar Shave Club: For just $5, you can get their top-of-the-line razor and a tube of shave butter (which unlike the Seinfeld episode isn't real butter and won't lead to Newman taking a bite out of you). Just go to https://dollarshaveclub.com/myths
Detour: I've always wondered what I'm missing out on when I'm walking through a city. Now, there's a way to know. Guided tours right on your phone that you can share with friends. Check out http://detour.com/myths
Music:
“Just a Blip” by Andy G. Cohen
“Warmer” by Andy G. Cohen “Faster Faster Brighter” by Blue Dot Sessions “Parade Shoes” by Blue Dot Sessions “Rafter” by Blue Dot Sessions “Tripoli” by Blue Dot Sessions “Like Starlight through a Veil” by Philipp Weigl “Midnight Blue” by Podington BearDon't, under any circumstances, trust the Midas touch. The king of unforced errors, Midas is a well-known figure in mythology mainly because of horrible decision making and lack of foresight. They say any publicity is good publicity, and I hope that is the case for Midas, who took a bad choice and used it to propel himself to everlasting notoriety.
Mouse bears. The creatures this week are mouse bears. They have the ferocity of bears and the ability to sneak into your cupboards like mice. Needless to say, they're super annoying.
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Sponsors!
Loot Crate: May's theme is Guardians, with stuff from Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Star Wars, Destiny, and Goonies. Go to http://www.lootcrate.com/legends and use code LEGENDS to get $3 off any new subscription today.
Blue Apron: Like fresh, great quality ingredients and fun recipes and not having to go anywhere for fresh, great quality ingredients and fun recipes? Blue Apron is your thing. Check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends code LEGENDS to get your first three meals free, with free shipping.
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Music:
“Bitter Roll” by Blue Dot Sessions “Floating Whist” by Blue Dot Sessions “Glass Runner” by Blue Dot Sessions “Lead Shroud” by Blue Dot Sessions “Pacing” by Blue Dot Sessions “Sylvestor” by Blue Dot Sessions “Town Market” by Blue Dot Sessions “Bagd” by Podington Bear “Breadtime” by by Podington Bear “Many Hands” by Podington Bear “Swimmy” by Podington BearWrapping up this two-part series on Morgan le Fay, we'll see her devious schemes within schemes come to fruition with one aim in mind: killing King Arthur and seizing the throne for herself.
The creature this week is fish man, from Spain. He's kind of like a superhero if all superheroes did was lay around and drink wine at their parents' house.
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Sponsors:
Hey, so Mother's Day is this weekend. As in three days from today. Still looking for something? You can show your mom you're thinking about her and you don't even have to look up from your phone. She doesn't have to know how easy it is and that it took basically no time. We won't tell her. We probably don't even know her. Unless this is Mike, in which case, hi Mike!
There are two excellent options:
Shari's Berries. Super easy. You know why? Because they somehow got the domain http://berries.com. They're delicious and they look fantastic. I got them for my mom on her birthday and my mother-in-law for Mother's Day. You can get her huge, freshly dipped berries starting at $19.99 plus shipping, and you can double the berries for $10. Just go to berries.com and use the code MAL when you click on the mic.
Or maybe flowers are your thing. Aren't you glad you listen to this podcast? We have you covered there, too. ProFlowers cracked the code on sending people fresh, beautiful flowers. Ours have been going strong for over a week - way longer than flowers from a supermarket or florist AND I am just realizing I forgot to change the water after three days like I was supposed to. They're that good. Check out http://proflowers.com and use the code MAL.
Both are so easy, that in the time you took reading this you could have Mother's Day wrapped up. We're just looking out for you. Also please don't forget to use code MAL it keeps the lights on.
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Music:
“Lamplist” by Blue Dot Sessions
“One Needle” by Blue Dot Sessions “Parissi” by Blue Dot Sessions “Tuck and Point” by Blue Dot Sessions “Please Listen Carefully” by Jahzzar “60s Quiz Show” by Podington Bear “A1 Rogue” by Podington Bear “All The Colors In The World” by Podington Bear “Canoe” by Podington Bear “Climbing the Mountain” by Podington Bear “Dulcet” by Podington Bear “Loam” by Podington Bear “Modest House” by Podington Bear “Rythn” by Podington Bear
